I was asked to write a blog and instead I wrote an endless scroll (I was really trying to be short). It’s a gift to you as well as my self. I hope you enjoy it and more hopefully benefit from it. When you’re done you can thank god I only heard about this place less than 3 months ago. I do.
Knowmads landed upon me by some chance, almost like any other current or past Knowmad I have talked to. I mean, how can you look for something you don’t know is there?
A need for searching could be felt but you can’t know what it is you’re actually looking for, just the feeling of quenching this thirst. Feeling right. Sometimes exhilarating, sometimes exhausting, the need for searching was familiar to me – I have been exploring, going on different quests my whole life.
So what happened?
There I was, 3 months ago, at the University, having left a comfortable business and daily routine to pursue this call. Ironically, I was trying to brave this river of formal education after spending many of my earlier years in a conscious effort to burn every bridge down. I guess my younger self was better connected to our self because It never felt right, I felt like I was trying to quench my thirst with salt and sand (not even cinnamon!).
Two years in, the need to keep searching was so distracting I could not put myself into Uni. I kept spending my time taking professional courses, picking up hobbies and keeping up with what was already part of me and I wanted to maintain. I felt bad and low on energy, constantly looking to make a change but exhaustingly not finding the passion within me to pursue different options.
And so I stumble upon Knowmads and start reading. I get this strange feeling, it feels almost unfamiliar, I can’t recognise it. And so I keep reading, going through every one of these blog posts and any scrap of information I manage to find on google. I was flipping through all of this for a couple of weeks, with the application deadline just a few more weeks away.
What’s up with this place? Is it what it seems to be? Am I just being a dreamer again? How do I find out?
I applied. I don’t owe anybody anything, I think (the Israeli in me). ‘Welcome Home’ they say, let’s see them walk the talk.
Before I know it, I am taking a break off work to have a Skype interview with Guus. I had a lot a questions and ‘concerns’ as I was unclear about what I will actually be doing at Knowmads. We do the interview, I go through my list of questions and we dive into a nice random conversation. When it’s done and we’re about to wrap it up I realise I’m still not content and think I’ve consumed all information resources available.
I voice this to Guus and he basically says “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it”. We finish the interview and I take a moment to sip some water and reflect. 20 seconds go by and I get CC’d in an email from Guus:
“Hello Tsila and Ivo,
Meet Alon, From Tel-Aviv, he just applied and is uncertain, please talk with him, online or off.
Enjoy the Hummus and the sunshine.”
A few days go by and I have an insightful and inspiring talk with Tsila (Counsellor, Guide and more at Knowmads) at her Home. The strange feeling keeps growing, I think I recognise it’s the feeling of “right” but it’s hard to remember and hard to believe. I feel like my emotional side is sold but my logical side still isn’t. At least I am sure I still can’t logically “sell” it to anyone else.
And so two more days go by and I meet a sick but willing and welcoming Ivo (Tribe 6, Knowmads Sevilla and Knowmads Labs) for some orange juice and tea on a sunny afternoon. We spend two hours talking about the school, ourselves and life.
I get up and leave, walking down the market I used to work in as a teenager. I stop resisting and the feeling of “right” washes over me. I accept it. I don’t have all the answers but I don’t need them, I know enough – this place and these people have managed to move me after I started doubting if it will ever happen again. They ‘Welcomed Home’d the shit out of me.
I burst with energy, excitement and a sense of purpose. I tell my parents, my band, my friends, my workplace. I take care of everything in days, deciding to really leave no hanging responsibility that will force me to go back to what I was doing as soon as it’s over and it all sorts out amazingly, I even find a place for my first 2 months in Amsterdam.
And then – I sit on the edge of my chair for 2 weeks, tormenting but only because I grow excited as the days go by. I try not to develop expectations but allow myself to dream. I try not to think about it too much but after a while understand my Knowmads journey started the moment I entered that website and I might as well go with it and enjoy it. I kiss everybody goodbye, I explain to the dogs why people do this kind of stuff. I think they get it and I’m off to Amsterdam.
It would be easier for me to write on the 3 years leading to my arrival at Knowmads than the 3 weeks since we’ve started the program. Today I can say:
I love this place. I love my Tribe and Tribe 12 who we share our program (and more) with. I love the staff. I love everyone in the community I have met so far and how truly welcoming they all are.
I love the way that I am feeling: Happy, Creative, Confident, Communicative, Inspired, Moved, At Home and much more.
Part of this is due to preparing to and accepting having a journey in Knowmads and setting myself with some personal and professional goals. Most of them have shifted or transformed but feeling this way was and still is a derivative of my goals.
If you would ask me today I would say my personal goals for Knowmads are focusing on group dynamics, communication and feeling content personally.
My professional goals for Knowmads is to explore my different business interests, decide on one I should mainly focus on and start a few projects. It is also my goal to not have the same goals throughout the program.
It is the third week and among other things – I have a meeting with an Alumni to explore a shared business interest. I cook lunch on Mondays. I’m selling energy snacks on King’s Day next week and while not fully settled in, I feel at home.
So there is the feeling that anything can be done here, you just need to do it. Help is there and if not, support is and sometimes that’s all the help you need. From talking to different people in the community and reading these blogs I understand Knowmads is truly a personal experience, we all walk are own paths, learning our own lessons and pursuing our own passions while supporting each other and ourselves and we get tools to be better at this.
I’m still thirsty but I’m drinking something new. Don’t know what it is but I love the funky feeling (do hope it’s vegan).
>My name is Alon, I’m 26 and I’m from Tel-Aviv, That is why I talk so much.
If you’re interested in attending Knowmads I would love to listen (I also know how to do that) and talk to you.